Being Your Own Demeter

We’re standing now at the gateway to the Fall Equinox, the threshold to the dreaming seasons.  At this time of harvest, and because we are living in intense times, as one era gives way to another, it feels feels right to stop to integrate the gradual changes we have been making, the healing that has taken place, and the older areas within us that still need attention.  This is the time of year when we imagine Persephone making her journey back to the Underworld.  If you recall the story, whatever version you may have read, you know that like most of us she never had a choice about her first descent.  Trauma catches us unaware, and yet some part of our soul, in the most unconscious places, reaches out for the new flower of experience and growth, and our journey deepens.  This is initiation on a soul level, and it happens when we embrace and integrate the experiences that pierce us, as well as when we choose the terms of our descent.

Having grown into a Goddess in her own right, deepened into power by the new eyes she gained along the way, Persephone returns to the unconscious realms year after year.  She does this knowing that she will meet her depth there, perhaps guide others who are lost there, and that ultimately she will emerge again.  She can do this deep work, and journey without fear, because the light of who she has always been is seen and lovingly held by her mother, Demeter, Goddess of the Earth, the grain, and the harvest.  I wonder…how many times have you been to the Underworld?  How many initiations completed, and how many left unresolved?  How many parts of your energy might still be trapped, running in circles, or frozen in fear?  I invite you to take a moment to remember the times you imagined you were lost, the losses and the wounds that de-centered you, and those that perhaps ultimately deepened you.  Yes, we are on the threshold of a change of era, but the change is within us as well.  If we are going to become more fully who we are, then we need to retrieve the parts of ourselves that are lost in old trauma, as well as cleaning our lives in the present to align with our soul truth.  It’s been a year of rapid healing transformation.  If you have been moving fast, you may not have noticed the change that has taken place within you.  How are you different from last year at this time?  

Part of your harvest to collect is the acknowledgment of the work you have done to heal, and the experiences you have had in the expansive months that affirmed the self that you are becoming.  Collect your harvest.  Hold yourself in the best and dearest light, just as Demeter does for Persephone, believing and insisting that you can always return to what is pure and innocent within you, even as you deepen and grow through life’s unexpected complexities.  Be your own harvest mother.  Make this your Fall season act of devotion to the Divine Feminine, and an offering of nurturing to the soul within you.  This Saturday, Chiron is in trine with Venus, making it a perfect time to integrate the healing you have done, and to engage the healing that has been waiting a long while to take place.  Old wounds that have healed the wrong way create limiting neural pathways that have a long influence.  If you are not sure what needs healing, spend some time with your thoughts.  How does your inner voice speak to you?  What areas are blocked, numb, or caught in a negative loop?  The Demeter within you believes that you can still cleanse all that stands in the way of who you really are, even as you become a little older, a little wiser, and a lot stronger on your path.  Chiron’s symbol looks like a key.  May healing the old winds unlock both your heart and your truth.  Here is a meditation I created for the Fall Equinox.  May it be a start to your healing harvest.         

Close your eyes.  Take a deep breath.

Feel your Mother Earth beneath your feet, pulsing love into you now.

She remembers everyone you have ever been.  She knows who you were before life pierced you, and who you grew to be after.  She has witnessed your descent again and again, and she will never give up her quest for your safe and triumphant return.  She gathers you close now and says:

“Look…the light is waning and Fall is opening its gateway.  Soon it will be time to go down and within.  But now the Harvest is before you, and it is time to collect what’s yours, so you may be nourished in the darker time of year.”

She holds a large mirror before your face and asks you to look closely.

You see yourself as Summer, all laughter, warmth, and experience, but you see, too, that there are new lines on your face that you had not noticed before.  One at a time you follow them with interest.  Each is a map of what you have lived and the ways it has changed you.  Follow the threads of these memories of Summer, Springtime, and beyond one at a time.

What feelings, what experiences, which learnings will you collect and integrate to nourish you, as you step over the threshold that divides the months of expansion from the months of quiet dreaming and new life forming underground?  Which will still feed you when the Winter feels long?  Which have prepared you to deepen your sense of who you can grow to be, as you dream your next phase of becoming?  Collect, now, your inner harvest.     

You blink your eyes and for a moment you see yourself again as the open hearted, innocent child of your youth.  Collect that sene of hopefulness and trust.

You blink your eyes and see your face of wisdom won through hard experience.  Collect that sense of confidence, vulnerability, and strength.

You blink a third time and these faces merge, combining gentleness and power.  You see your truest self, grown but not lost.

Just like Demeter, you remember everyone you have ever been and even glimpse who you will be in the new Wheel approaching.

Are you ready to step over the threshold?  Are you nourished enough?

Do you know now that you will never be abandoned or forgotten by your Mother the Earth, that you are held even as you are seduced and entranced by new depths within?

Is your harvest enough to sustain you?

There is still time.  What may still be needed to make your container strong enough?  What work may still need to be done to ensure that you can truly reap what you intended to, in the seasons of light?

Demeter gently removes the mirror from before you and puts it away.  Suddenly you find yourself surrounded by a beautiful feast of fruits, grains, golden honey, and fragrant herbs.  She takes your hand and asks you to celebrate.  Your celebration is all she requires in return for her gifts and her love.  You open your mouth and a song pours forth.  It is one word, a chant, and you sing it with your full and complex heart.  You know this word without hesitation.  With it you sing your gratitude and your resilience.  You sing your strength.  You sing your becoming.

With your song you bless every harvest, past, present, and future.

Ometteotl.  Blessed be.

May your harvest be abundant, and your hunger ever be met with nourishment.

-This blog was written by Melusina Gomez, originally for publication with the eleventh house